The (re)turning

As I lay in bed this morning, in a momentary space between waking up and getting up, I heard birdsong and I realised that the deep silence of winter had come to an end. The spring flowers have been pushing up for weeks now, but it was in that liquid trill that my conscious mind was able to acknowledge the turning. And - joy, - I realised that I recognised the song as that of my annual visitor, the wren. A circle completing again, and then on.

This noticing, this connecting to the life that is bigger than me, this is the thing that gets lost in busyness. It gets pushed to the back of the queue when there are practical matters to take care of - and of course, there are always practical matters to take care of. And this is why it matters to me, even if it means almost wrestling this time back, that I keep remembering to do it. And, most importantly, when I do, acknowledging it.

‘I am noticing’

“I am connecting’

‘This is the bigger life’

In doing so, I am reminding my brain what it feels like to be present. How good it feels to press a pause button on the thinking. To feel myself, not as a lone being navigating whatever challenges life is throwing my way at that moment, but as part of something bigger, an emerging new season.

It’s too easy to ‘get our head down’ and feel that we have no other choice. But there is always a choice. It can come in a breath, in under a minute, while we brush our teeth, at the traffic lights. It can even become a habit.

Rather than another thing that we should do, this noticing can become an almost magical doorway that we step through over and over again. And It’s so worth it.

Because what is this life of striving, aiming, achieving, doing, acquiring, having if we never take in where we are right now? If our brains are so wired that we can’t feel or appreciate beauty? If our diaries are so jam-packed that we race through our days without a moment to look up?

Let Spring unfold around you. Allow some parts of it, whatever you can manage, to wash over you. When you do notice, maybe you can remind yourself ‘I am noticing. I am connecting. I am part of this’. Perhaps the fresh energy of Spring might inspire fresh energy in you too.

But if it doesn't, try not to give up on the noticing. Try not to say - ‘It doesn’t work for me. My mind's too busy’. Give yourself a chance. Try to let some of its magic wash over you and absorb into you, this turning of the season that will never turn in exactly this way again. And you are here to witness it.

Yes, you will forget, again and again. Yes, you will be drawn back into the noise again and again. Yes, you will get so frustrated with yourself. But yes, the doorway of noticing will still be there when you are ready to step through again.